Consciousness

Once upon a time I had everything.

I lost it because the fight was too hard for me.

I couldn’t stand on my feet.

I found myself alone in that place,

In that place with my biggest fear right next to me.

I trembled.

I didn’t face it but I was frightened.

My conscious was travelling across the river,

Reviewing all the memories,

All the places alike,

Every word she said,

Every rule she mentioned.

My mind was full of stuff,

Shit,

Stupid vengeance thoughts that I have forgot.

I can’t say for sure what happened.

If she was too much for me or If I was too good for her.

Maybe It was a little of both.

Time has passed and the contact is almost dead.

What can I do?

Get my conscious from that river and start to react?

Even when my dreams tell not to?

Today,

I feel consciousness in everything that can touch my feelings and even my pride.

Because I am a proud woman.

I feel like I am a strange creature with membranes forbidden to love.

Incapable to be strong,

Strong enough to exist.

Try to do it is what keeps me alive.